How recently have you dated your spouse?
Wise mentors tell us that a married couple should date each other at least once a week, to have some time away from the daily stressors of life and just be in the pleasant company of our spouse. Seeing each other outside of the home, without the bills, kids and household duties, gives us space to be the loving, doting couple we are and sparks memories of the times we enjoyed each other’s company carefree, back in the day, while dating each other, through the engagement period, early marriage and beyond. This loving, doting couple doesn’t have to retire from being in love with each other’s company and dating each other all over again. In fact, the Torah mandates that a man give his wife food, clothing and TIME. In todays time-poor generation, this special couple-time is priceless.
Some go as far as dating twice a week: once for business, (how are the kids, who is doing their chores, what bills are we paying, etc ) and once a week for pleasure- (looking at each other fondly, really relaxing and enjoying the company of our spouse, without uttering a word about anything other than how much we enjoy each other’s company).
This is a time to compliment each other, express our love and admiration for our spouse and just be in their company, enjoying the time together. It can take place in a restaurant, as a walk near the water, or a power-walk together in your local neighborhood. It doesn’t even have to cost money, although for special date-nights a little treat will keep the surprise element of anticipation. The main idea is to just spend quality time together. This is the best tip I ever received in my marriage and credit goes to Rabbi Yaakov and Toby Lieder, who parented 14 children and were nevertheless magically able to maintain their “date-night” every week for the past 38 years!
I urge every couple to put away a night in your calendar, every week, to have your special date night, with reminders on the day, on auto-repeat for the next 120 years, together in joy!
This blog is dedicated to Rabbi Yaakov and Mrs Toby Lieder on the occassion of their daughters’ weddings this week, may they have continued joy and happiness with health, wealth and time to enjou it!
